Don’t Read This Post!
You’re reading this post aren’t you? I just told you not to. Why does that happen? You tell someone not to do something and they do it. It’s like telling kids not to write on the wall. What happens? Next thing you know, they’re writing on the wall. Is it a reverse psychology thing? To tell you the truth, I have no idea. I’m not a psychologist, however, I did come across a very interesting post at my friend Marc Dagenais’ blog. He was talking about the color red. Well, actually no, in his post he was talking about coaching softball. He mentioned the fact that many coaches fall into the trap of telling their players what NOT to do (he illustrated it with the whole “red” thing – read the post and you’ll see what I mean).
The thing is, coaches are not the only ones who fall into this trap. It’s so easy, as a parent, to see the mistakes that your child is making and tell them not to make those mistakes. I think it’s only natural to resort to this approach it involves talking about something you just visually saw. Trying to tell your child what to do instead would mean thinking of how to communicate a desired action vs simply talking about the action that just occurred right in front of you.
However it’s so much more helpful to your child if you tell them what to do vs what not to do.
- Instead of telling your child not to walk, encourage her to hustle.
- Instead of telling your child don’t forget to drink water, tell her to remember to drink water.
- Instead of telling your child not to bring her muddy softball cleats in the house, remind her to take her cleats off before coming inside.
You get the idea. Think of the common things you say to your child each day (on or off the field). How much of your communication involves the word “don’t?” Probably more than you think. Just for fun, for one day, try not to use the word “don’t” when talking to your child. Leave me a comment below and let me know how it goes. ;P
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